There were many Starfleet casualties during the 23^rd century.  Exploring the final frontier has its drawbacks. While some deaths were treated with the sort of grief and solemnity the end of a human life deserves, others were simply used as dramatic filler. I am speaking, of course, of those red shirts that died and were soon forgotten. This month, I intend to provide some of these fine people with the eulogies they deserved.

Carl Mathews was born in the year 2232 on a farm in Texas. He was the star quarterback of his high school football team and dated the head cheerleader, Cindy Novak, his entire high school career. After going away to college and getting his Bachelor’s degree in Agriculture, he came back to his hometown and married Cindy. For years, they tried to conceive a child. However, they eventually sought the help of a fertility expert. After some tests, it was actually discovered that Cindy had a massive malignant tumor in her uterus. Not only would this mean she would probably never have a child, but also that the cancer had gone unnoticed for too long and she would most likely die. Like a good husband, Carl, stayed with her right until the end two years later.

Carl loved his wife so dearly he knew he could never find happiness with another woman. He decided to pursue a life of adventure in space after a year of grieving. Unfortunately, just as it seemed Carl was beginning to come out of his shell and make friends with others, he met a gruesome fate. On his very first mission, he was pushed down a perilous cave. The world lost a true romantic, when it lost Carl Mathews.

If you enjoyed this eulogy or are a Star Trek fanatic, you may enjoy our many Star Trek related shirts. Such as: Kirk & Spock & Bones & Some Guy In A Red Shirt, Everyone’s a Trekkie, and Don’t Phase Me Bro.

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